Discover a compassionate and evolved approach to divorce with Tia, an experienced civil and family law attorney. In this insightful blog, Tia shares her personal journey and the transformative shift from litigation to mediation. Learn how her unique perspective, gained through life-altering experiences, guides couples towards an amicable divorce. Watch the accompanying video for a deeper understanding of Tia's approach and the powerful impact on the lives of those navigating divorce. Choose a path that prioritizes well-being, compassion, and a healthier future for your family. Explore the possibilities at Evolved Law. #DivorceMediation #CompassionateResolution #EvolvedLaw

: Discover the faster and client-controlled alternative to traditional divorce with Evolved Law. Learn how an Evolved Divorce combines the efficiency of uncontested divorce with the guidance of a professional mediator for swift, cost-effective resolutions. Say goodbye to prolonged court battles and hello to a brighter future.

Finding co-parenting to be completely impossible? Take a moment to help yourself heal and cope with co-parenting by practicing my five mantras for conscious co-parenting.

Practicing yoga during a high-conflict divorce, if only for 10 minutes a day, can help you cope physically, mentally, and emotionally. Enjoy this simple yoga for divorce sequence to help cultivate mindfulness during this challenging time.

7 Steps to Divorce in Colorado The divorce process is emotional and overwhelming, regardless of whether you are the one initiating the divorce. What follows is a simple step-by-step guide to the divorce process in Colorado. Use this guide as support to move forward when you’re feeling stuck, afraid, or unsure of what to do next. Step One: Breathe and Find Support. You don’t have to go through divorce alone. It will be a much easier process if you establish a support network early on. Before moving forward with this guide, take a moment to make a list of people who can support you through the process. These can be friends, family members, or professionals like therapists, counselors, or coaches. If you can, consider hiring a divorce coach before you hire your attorney. Hiring a divorce coa ch can result in a divorce that does no t waste your financial and emotional resources. Divorce coaches are thinking partners with you through the process emotionally, financially, and logistically. Step Two: Complete Initial Paperwork and Make Copies. To file for divorce, the person initiating the divorce must complete three documents. 1. A Petition for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Separation 2. A Case Information Sheet 3. A Summons for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Separation Make four copies of each document. Step Three: File the Forms with the Court Next, the person initiating the divorce must file the documents with the Court. “Filing” is just a fancy way to say delivering your documents to the court and paying the required fee. You can submit your documents electronically using the “e-file system,” or submit your documents in-person by handing them to the clerk at the court. If you would like to use the “e-file system,” please follow the instructions on the Colorado Judicial Branch website . Soon after you file your forms, the court will schedule an Initial Status Conference. This is a meeting with either the judge or a Family Court Facilitator (a non-judge family law expert) to assess the progress of your case and help you effectively move forward towards your final hearing. Step Four: Serve the Respondent Once the forms are filed, the spouse who filed the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Separation – also called the “Petitioner” – must “serve” the other spouse – also called the “Respondent”. That just means the Petitioner must make sure the Respondent receives a copy of the documents filed with the court in a manner which is approved by the court. This is one of the most important moves that you should think through before you file because if you believe the only way to begin the divorce is by filing your paperwork and serving your partner at work with divorce papers, then you would benefit greatly by working with a divorce coach. Having a process server begin the divorce is going to be viewed 100% of the time as an act of war. While you may just intend to finally begin a process you two may or may not have discussed, remember that the other person is going to be caught off guard, put in fight or flight and could respond in a number of unpredictable ways from shutting off access to information and resources to having a knee jerk reaction and hiring the big bully attorney so that control can be restored. Think it through first. If you move forward with service, there are three ways to serve the Respondent: 1. Waiver: If the Respondent will accept the papers voluntarily, the Petitioner can ask the Respondent to waive service. 2. Personal Service: If the Respondent will not accept the papers voluntarily, the Petitioner must have a third party personally hand the papers to the Respondent. 3. Publication: If the Respondent cannot be found, the Petitioner can use an alternative to Personal Service called Publication. Detailed instructions for all three types of service are available on the Colorado Judicial Branch Website . Step Five: Both Parties File More Paperwork Step Five is to file additional documentation to help the judge make decisions about your divorce. If you are the Petitioner, you have 42 days from the date you filed your initial paperwork (Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, Case Information Sheet, and Summons for Dissolution of Marriage or Legal Separation) to file the following additional documents. If you are the Respondent, you have 42 days from the day you were served or waived service to file the following additional documents. Hiring a divorce coach to assist you to work through understanding what documents will be needed for your financial disclosures can be a great way to start your divorce in an organized and informed way. Because Coach Z has a law degree, she can make sure that you are prepared to provide your attorney with your documents and information in a credible and organized way resulting in a massive reduction in legal fees. For every Colorado divorce, the following documents are required: 1. A Sworn Financial Statement . The judge will use this document to assess your income and expenses. You must provide a copy of this document to the other party. a. This document is one of your most important documents in your divorce. Be prepared to identify and tally your assets and liabilities as well as your current living expenses, business assets, crypto currency, gambling losses and wins, family businesses and trusts, automobiles, pension plans, deferred compensation, etc. Plan to take this task on in bites because it can be overwhelming and emotionally triggering for many. Many clients rely on their attorney and staff to coach them through this process, often resulting in thousands of dollars of fees. 2. A Certificate of Compliance . This is a form which tells the court which financial documents you’ve provided to the other party. You must provide a copy of this certificate to the other party. Additionally, you must provide a copy of all the documents listed on the form, to the Other. 3. A Separation Agreement Form . This is your divorce contract. It identifies all of the property, assets, and liabilities that exist in the marriage. The separation agreement should state who gets what asset or liability, and when and how it will be transferred. This informs the judge as to how you would like your assets and debts to be divided. It should detail how retirement and investment assets should be transferred or retained, how the homes or other property will be sold, who will receive what amount after the sale, whether or not maintenance or alimony is waived or agreed-upon. If you and your spouse agree on the terms of your separation agreement, you can complete one and file it together. If you do not agree, you can file this form on your own as an indication of how you would like your assets and debts to be divided. If you are not in agreement, you must provide a copy of this document to the other party. If you are not in agreement regarding the division of assets, liabilities, and maintenance, then you will need to involve the court and go to a permanent orders hearing (trial). The following additional documents are required if you have children: 1. A Parenting Plan . Similar to the Separation Agreement, the Parenting Plan is a form used to show the judge how you would like your parenting responsibilities to be divided. This form covers your custody arrangement, who is responsible for making parenting decisions such as what extracurriculars the child[ren] will take, and the financial responsibility of caring for your children. If you and your spouse agree, you can complete one form and file it together. If you do not agree, you can file this form on your own as an indication of how you would like your parenting responsibilities to be divided. If you are not in agreement, you must provide a copy of this document to the other party and the court will determine the parenting plan after a hearing. 2. A Child Support Worksheet . This is an automatically generated calculation of how much child support shall be paid by one spouse to the other. Please follow these instructions to generate this worksheet. 3. A Support Order . This form is used by the judge to order one spouse to pay child support or maintenance (commonly known as alimony). Filling out the parts of this form that you can and filing it with the court will help ensure the judge has all of the information she needs to make such an order. 4. An Affidavit for Decree without Appearance of Parties . This form should only be filled out if you and your spouse are in complete agreement and either don’t have children under the age of 19 or are both represented by attorneys. It must be signed by both parties. In certain scenarios, submitting this form alongside a jointly-agreed-upon Separation Agreement allows the parties to obtain their final divorce decree without ever appearing in court. 5. A Decree . This is the form the judge uses to make your divorce final. Completing the top part of this form and filing it is helpful for the judge, and might make the process move more quickly. Step Six: Resolve Outstanding Issues and Finalize Divorce After all your documents are filed, you move on to the final step: resolving any outstanding issues and finalizing the divorce. If there are issues which you and your spouse don’t agree on, the court will do one of two things. The first option is to order that you complete mediation , and, if mediation is unsuccessful, to set a hearing. The second option is to skip mediation and immediately schedule a hearing, but most counties in Colorado require mediation first. Mediation is a wonderful opportunity to reach a collaborative agreement, and I highly recommend mediating when it is safe to do so. Mediation is your best chance for getting your divorce resolved with an outcome that does not consume your financial and emotional resources. Mediation allows you to control the end result. You don’t need a court order to attend mediation. You can choose to mediate at any point. Some clients choose to mediate without an attorney and prepare for the mediation with Coach Z. If you end up at a hearing, this is your trial. Both you and your spouse will have an opportunity to present all relevant facts and documents to the judge. Then, the judge will make a final decision on all outstanding issues. It is possible the judge will make a decision on the spot. However, if the issues are complicated or the judge is short on time, the judge may take time to decide. Once she decides, she will issue a written order. Once the judge decides on all outstanding issues, she will sign your final divorce decree, and you’ll be officially divorced. Step Seven: Build a Life You Love After Divorce I believe divorce is an opportunity for tremendous personal growth. You can use this time to take something which feels painful and destructive and leverage it to create something better than you ever imagined. If you want support in building a life you love after divorce, consider working with me as your Divorce Coach . I’ve been through divorce and, even though it was tremendously painful, I used it as a catalyst for transformation. I want to help you do the same! Together, we’ll figure out what will make you truly happy and take steps to get you there. 

Grandiosity: A hallmark of narcissistic behavior is an exaggerated sense of self-importance, often manifested as arrogance, a desire for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Sense of entitlement: Narcissists often believe that they are entitled to special treatment and privileges, regardless of their behavior or the feelings of others. Exploitative behavior: Narcissists are often manipulative and exploitative, using others for their own gain without regard for the impact on those around them. Lack of empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding and relating to the emotions and experiences of others, which can make it difficult for them to form deep and meaningful connections with others. Inability to handle criticism: Narcissists have a fragile sense of self-worth, and may react with anger, defensiveness, or aggression when criticized or challenged. It is important to remember that not all individuals who display these traits are necessarily a narcissist. Only a mental health professional can provide a true diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. If you want to discuss ways to communicate with or how extricate yourself from someone who exhibits narcissistic traits, contact us at moreinfo@evolved-law.com

The number one thing you can do to protect your children during a divorce is to prioritize their well-being and minimize their exposure to conflict. This can be achieved by: Focusing on their needs: Put your children's needs first and make decisions that will have a positive impact on their lives. Avoid making your children pawns in your disputes or exposing them to negative or hostile behavior. Encouraging open communication: Encourage open and honest communication with your children and listen to their concerns and feelings. Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that you both love them. Maintaining stability: Try to maintain a stable and predictable routine for your children, especially when it comes to their schooling, activities, and relationships. Seeking support: Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance for you and your children. Cooperating with your co-parent: Collaborate with your co-parent to ensure that your children have a positive and stable relationship with both of you. Avoid speaking negatively about your co-parent in front of your children (or where they might overhear) and work together to create a positive and supportive environment. If you would like help on how to protect your children from the unnecessary and devastating effects of conflict on children, contact us at: moreinfo@evolved-law.com .

So, what is this term about? "Hoovering" is a term used to describe a particular type of behavior in a relationship where one partner tries to re-engage the other after a period of separation or breakup. The term is often used to describe the behavior of a narcissistic or emotionally manipulative individual who tries to suck their former partner back into the relationship. The term "hoovering" is named after the brand of vacuum cleaners, as it is used to describe the act of "sucking" someone back into the relationship. It was popularized by author and psychologist Susan Forward, who wrote a book called "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You." The narcissist’s tactics are often part of a larger pattern of manipulation and control over the target and that the narcissist's ultimate goal is to regain control over their target. If you are the target, it’s possible to shift the power dynamic piece by piece beginning with the target’s ability for awareness. Not self-awareness but awareness. Awareness of one’s experience and recognizing patterns is a great way to begin your departure from the narcissist without having to do anything other than be observant. One of the little-known tools that I teach my clients is my number one observation in working with my clients: Narcissists are predictable. For a target, awareness of this proves over and over to be one of the most underutilized and powerful tools that can transform your power dynamic. Here are six predictable behaviors of the narcissist when they are engaging in hoovering. Print them and tape them to your bathroom mirror when they leave after deciding they want a new life with a new partner and everything associated with their former life, including their children (regardless of age) has ceased to exist. Prepare for them to come back in some way or manner. If they don’t, drop me a line. But I’m betting that they will. So, if they do, let’s make sure it’s the LAST time. Six Predictable Hoovering Tactics Charm and flattery: A narcissist may use compliments, gifts, and flattery to win their target back. They may also use their charisma and charm to make the target feel special and wanted. Guilt-tripping: The narcissist may play on their target's emotions by making them feel guilty for ending the relationship. They may blame their own behavior (projecting) on their target or try to make them feel responsible for the problems in the relationship. Promise of change: Ah, the go-to. The narcissist may promise to change their behavior or make amends for past wrongs, but these promises are often empty with minimal changes in their behavior that last days and for some, just hours. Pretend to have changed: A narcissist may act as if they have changed, and try to convince their target that they are a different person now. This can be a new kind of con for the astute narcissist. Some narcissists will educate themselves on the language that indicates the narcissist is working/has worked with a therapist to address their changes. This can be particularly effective if the target wants to believe that the narcissist has changed. Play on shared history: The narcissist may remind their target of the positive aspects of their relationship, such as shared experiences and good times. They may also use this shared history to make their target feel like they owe it to the relationship to give it another chance. Threats and ultimatums: The narcissist may use threats and ultimatums to control their target, such as threatening to harm themselves or others if the target does not come back. It's important to recognize that these tactics are often part of a larger pattern of manipulation and control, and that the narcissist's ultimate goal is to regain control over their target. If you are the target of hoovering, it's important to be aware of these tactics and to have a plan in place for how to resist them. If you are interested in learning more about shifting the power dynamic in your relationship, please contact us moreinfo@evolved-law.com .