Divorcing a Narcissist in Jefferson County, Colorado? Mediation Isn’t the Problem. But What Happens Before It Might Be.
At Evolved Law, there’s a pattern we see constantly with women who are married to men with
narcissistic personality traits. These Colorado women are often in traditional marriages. These women are also intelligent and capable, trusting their spouses to handle the finances throughout their marriage. They took care of the family, the household, the logistics — and now that the marriage is ending, they’re told by the
narcissist:
“We don’t need lawyers.”
“Let’s just go to mediation.”
“We can do this quickly.”
“Let’s keep this civil.”
And the woman, because she is reasonable and doesn’t want to escalate things, agrees.
Here’s the problem:
She hasn’t seen his financial disclosures—not really, not fully, and not in the way most states require.
Before You Mediate, Ask This: Has HE Disclosed Everything?
In Colorado,
Rule 16.2 governs financial disclosures in divorce.
Both spouses must provide full, sworn financial statements and supporting documentation. But too often, the wife completes hers — and assumes her husband has done the same.
He hasn’t. Not fully. Not accurately. Not with the documentation required.
Before you agree to mediate, settle, or even talk numbers, ask yourself:
- Has he provided
all tax returns and not just summaries?
- Have you seen the
full financials for his business, not just self-created income statements?
- Have all
retirement, pension, and deferred comp accounts been professionally valued?
- Are you sure you have documentation for
every account — even the ones you’re not listed on?
- Have all
properties been appraised?
- Do you have current statements for
every investment and insurance policy?
- Are there trusts, side businesses, or corporate perks you haven’t asked about?
This isn’t being suspicious — it’s being smart. You’re not questioning his character. You’re protecting your future.
The Fast-Track is a Red Flag
Men in these situations often try to rush the process:
- “Let’s just settle this before it gets messy.”
- “If you bring in a lawyer, the deal’s off the table.”
- “We don’t need to waste money fighting.”
But if he’s been planning this for months — and you just found out — you are not on equal footing.
If he’s pushing for a fast settlement without providing full financial disclosure, that’s not peace.
That’s power — being used against you.
And yes, narcissists excel at this strategy. They weaponize charm and urgency. Mediation becomes a performance — one where they control the facts, the flow, and the final outcome.
Mediation Can Be a Good Thing — But Only With the Right Prep
At Evolved Law, we’re not anti-mediation. We’re anti-blind mediation.
You can only negotiate fairly when:
- His Rule 16.2 Financial Disclosures are complete and documented.
- You’ve had time to work with professionals to build a Marital Balance Sheet — a single view of all assets and liabilities.
- You understand your income needs and what your life will look like post-divorce.
- You are emotionally and strategically prepared — not reacting under pressure.
What We Do Differently at Evolved Law
We equip women with the strategy and support they’ve often never had access to:
- Financial experts who dig into documents — not just “take his word for it.”
- Coaches who help you prepare for difficult conversations and decisions.
- A system that protects your peace without sacrificing your power.
You don’t need to escalate. You just need to be informed.
And we’ll help you get there.
Don’t Be the One Who Trusts and Settles Too Soon
If there’s one thing I want every woman in a traditional or high-net-worth marriage to understand, it’s this:
You can be collaborative. You can be kind. You can avoid conflict.
But if you haven’t seen and verified his full financial disclosures?
You’re not ready to mediate.
Before you agree to a deal with a narcissist, before you try to “just get through it,”
Ask the right questions. Demand full transparency.
And give yourself permission to slow down and see the whole picture.
We’re here when you’re ready.
